The man in the Mirror

Happy Independence day compatriots. Trust you are great, its been a while, i ve been hooked up with a whole lot lately, but its all for good. I was looking for one of my write ups to edit and put up for this month being our national birth month. But while checking my achieves, i came across a note i had posted earlier, but reading it all over again made me feel like sharing it again as it captures what was/is on my mind to share.

So i titled it : The man in the Mirror. If you want to see Nigeria transform into a great nation in all ramifications, it all begins with man in the mirror, and that man is you. You have to lead the CHANGE!

While reading one of my role model’s book- Winning with people -John Maxwell. I came across something that resonates with me. He said that if I want to win with people, make a difference, that I need to examine myself first-the first person I must change is my self.

“If I ever think I’ve finished growing, then I’m in trouble” Maxwell wrote. Anyways one remarkable story he shared in the book reads:

In the crypts of Westminster Abbey, the following words were written on the tomb of an Anglican bishop who lived in the eleventh century:

“When I was young and free my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew in my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realized: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows; I may have even changed my world.”

The bottom line here is that change begins with us. If you become a better you, you will then be able to encourage someone out there to become a better person as well, and it grows that way. We are naturally quick at judging people around without examining ourselves first. If you must make a difference in this world, you must take responsibility.

I was tempted to throw a used recharge card on the road few days back, but on a second thought, I felt I would be contravening what I have always preached against, I thought that if I throw this on the road, and some other person does that and another person does the same thing, everywhere will be obviously littered with dirt. I would have contributed to the nuisance we all are trying to curb. So I decided to keep the used card and trashed it on getting home.

Don’t think that, that seemingly little ‘good’ you are doing to keep our environment clean by not littering the environment with dirt is insignificant, if everybody will do the little within our powers we will achieve much and by so doing we would have made a significant impact in the lives of people and our country as well.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY NIGERIA!

Change begins with you!

THE MAN WITH A DIFFERENT SPIRIT

Hi, its been a while, trust you are holding on, working and believing that this second part of the year will be greater than the first. For the benefit of those who are yet to buy my book but will buy eventually, this is a review of the book, just for you.

Author: Favour Erebosi

Reviewer: Emmanuel Effiong-Bright

The 156 page book - The man with a different spirit, defying the status quo written by Favour Erebosi, copyright 2011 and published by Fempact, is an instructional and inspirational body of work that aptly fits into the genre of self development. The subject matter rests on the need for change as a necessary cure for self-inflicted backwardness. The therapeutic possibilities inherent in this must read is evident in the beautiful cover, page texture, illustrative graphics and qualitatively researched content. The book bears the ISBN tag 978 978 912 8310.

The book, basically, introduces the reader to the latent and change ordering potential resident in him or her. It establishes in many contexts the paths and rewards of those who dare to make a difference in our world. The author’s audience would therefore include everyone; lower-class, middle-class, upper-class, students, employees, entrepreneurs etc. The author’s style though understandably formal has for the sake of its wide audience base, great fusions of buoyancy and breeziness. The writing style is highly coherent, fluid and concise. Though one would expect a great dose of lingo from the author’s industry, again her careful choice of words betray her effort and commitment to be understood by all. Her style therefore suits her audience.

A quick look at the table of content would show a sequence leading the reader to the ultimate goal of the book. Set in 11 chapters, its listing in proper order is:

- The making of a man

- Meet an overcomer

- Insanity redefined

- Anatomy of a man with a different spirit

- Speaking your way to the peak

- Choices and consequences: The Siamese twins

- Tomorrow is now

- The man with a different spirit

- You have no excuse

- The world waits to celebrate the man

- Take charge!

The making of a man 1

Seeks to establish the uniqueness of individuals and the creator’s expectations. This is well captured in Eleanor Powell’s quote, “What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God”. In chapter one, the author strives and successfully establishes the transition from child to man and the power interactions that makes this possibility. In the chapter, the author amongst other ways shows how common adjectives and perceptions shape our personality.

Meet an over comer 2

Overcoming challenges is at the core of this chapter. Here the author enrolls in the school of thought that views challenges as an inevitable and fast-track dimension to growth. She extracts examples from the Holy Book to make her case. The reader would find interesting, The Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary definition of the word ‘challenge’. OALD defines challenge as “a new or difficult task that tests somebody’s ability and skill.” She sums up the chapter with the ‘rise to fame story’ of Ibukun Awosika, Nigerias indefatigable business amazon.

Insanity redefined 3

“Have dominion and multiply the earth” Gods instruction to man takes a revelatory dimension in chapter 3 when the writer asserts it is the Creator’s way of encouraging his creation to defy status quo. It’s brilliant. The chapter attemps to link a thread in the characteristics of mad people and the sane who would rather stick to tradition than break out of the box. It encourages employees to help their organizations achieve against odds rather than complain about the things that don’t work. Obama’s intruiging life story finds a home in this chapter.

Anatomy of a man with a different spirit 4

Chapter four introduces the man with a different spirit as a dreamer. A catalogue of names both historical and present pegs this thought to the ground. Henry Ford and Joseph, the Bible character lead the list of dreamers. The author also declaratively makes a case for self definition and its impact on performance. She makes the reader to observe the fact that even the people we look up to as heroes, are only heroes because they overcame challenges. The chapter goes ahead to list attributes of the dreamer, among them, the fact that dreamers are not afraid of the unknown.

Speaking your way to the peak 5

If this chapter were to be summed up in one sentence, “a closed mouth is a closed destiny”, a quote attributed to Bishop David Oyedopo would be fitting. In this chapter we are encouraged to keep speaking until we see the reality of our words. These speeches or words, if you rather, should not be restricted to our persons but deliberately extended to our country of birth. Here, we are re-introduced to the second stanza of our national anthem –which is actually a prayer for the wellbeing of our nation, leaders and citizens. The power of thinking is given a good mention in this chapter.

Choices and consequences: The Siamese twins 6

It’s instructive to know or be reminded that the former president of the United States of America, Bill Clinton, would have been a jazz musician but for his chance meeting with John F. Kennedy. While not demeaning the importance of musicians in our society, this count introduces the reader to the importance of choices in life. “Choice is an everyday occurrence”, says the author, “from the time we wake up to the time we go back to the spot from which we awoke.” Not to be left in a pure state of motivation, the author goes ahead to list steps to maximizing our choices in life.

Tomorrow is now 7

The message of urgency rings aloud for all to hear in this chapter. Visualization is not enough we must follow through to implementation and on time, too.

The man with a different spirit 8

This is the heart of the subject. It is the nucleus from which the book derives its guts. Governor Babatunde Fashola and his achievements in Lagos State get a standing or do we say a reading ovation in this section. By doing the impossible, Fashola is honored with the tag, a man with a different spirit. Same goes for Stevie ‘the blind’ Wonder who still serenades our lives with hit tunes, the likes that have won him 30 U.S. top hits, 22 Grammy awards (a record for a solo artist) just to mention a few. Cosmos Maduka’s hilarious but serious life story, not less important, gives us a ‘local’ dimension to the man with a different spirit.

You have no excuse 9

The world waits to celebrate the man 10

Take charge 11

I crave your indulgence as I have taken the liberty to summarize and weave the titles of these three chapter into one sentence, one sentence I hope will remain in the hearts of all those who’ll read this book i.e.

“You have no excuse because the world earnestly waits to celebrate those that take charge”

Conclusion

In conclusion, I’ll like to say, even though I am privileged to be exposed to this kind of books by virtue of my profession, I am impressed by the author’s attention to researching the subject matter. I however must say that no book is ever in its perfect state, hence the need for further review by the author. When this is given its proper place, authors will attest to the fact that it births the second, third, fourth editions and so on. My advice to the brilliant author is same as I have offered over the years, a quote attributed to a great man, “the greatest room in the world is the room for improvement. It’s a great book, in my opinion, one worth reading. Thank you!

The unveiling of the Man

More picture of the book launch.

Why People Don't Change -- 3 Reasons and 5 Things You Can Do - By Debbie Roberts & Werner Hofstatter

I subscribed to one online selfgrowth website, i really learn so much from different articles and newsletters they send me.

I have decided to share this wonderful article on CHANGE with you, please read and be inspired.

Dealing with difficult people can be extremely frustrating. Trying to change them can be even worse. Understanding why people find it so difficult to change can provide some insight and relief. Although changing another person is out of your control there are some things you can do that can help. This may be absolutely necessary if the difficult person in your life is your spouse, your child, your boss, or anyone else who you have close contact with every day.

Understanding why people find it so difficult to change is the first step. Here are three things you should know.

1) What we see in other people is very obvious because we can observe it objectively. This perspective is huge. Understanding that what we see is not as obvious to them is vital. Communicating our perception in a fair manner is the first step.

2) We have all been "programmed". A lot of our emotional habits are formed in early childhood. It took us a long time to perfect these habits, so to just "change them" permanently is not always easy. If you have ever tried to quit a bad physical habit like smoking, eating sweets or biting your nails, you'll know that at first it is really hard to just stop. Emotional habits are even more difficult because they are not as obvious. Self-awareness is the key.

3) Sometimes people are aware of their annoying habit or behavior but still don't change. This happens when the "payoff" for staying the same is higher than benefit of changing. Think about the person who is notoriously late. What kind of payoff can someone get from being late all the time? Here are a few payoffs that may be keeping them stuck. "I can get a lot more things done during the time I could be early or on time". "I feel in control". "Being late is fashionable, I wouldn't want to appear over anxious or too eager". "If I'm early I may have to wait for someone else". Although these payoffs are double standards they are often

overwhelming. The obvious positive payoffs that we may perceive, like "appearing more professional", "improved relationships" and "reduced stress levels" may not even cross their mind.

So what can you do? Here are some tips to making lasting changes:

1. Change yourself first but state your needs clearly and respectfully. You can only change yourself. This may include letting others know that your needs are not being met and telling them what you require from them. You can say something like, "I have to let you know that when you are late I feel disrespected. My time is important too. In the future, I require that you be on-time or let me know in advance that you'll be late. Is that something you can do?"

2. Get some perspective. Self-awareness is the key to change. You can't change what you can't see. If you require a new perspective on yourself take a look at your life and see what's not working for you. Then, with the help of some objective and truthful friends, ask them what they think you're doing to create this situation. If someone else seems to be unaware of a behaviour that is affecting others, ask a specific question like, "Are you aware that when you ________ it is hurtful?"

3. Uncover your history to discover your current mystery. Patterns and habits can be deep. Look at your early childhood experiences. Are you a people pleaser? Why? How did this start? Are you shy and withdrawn? How did this start? Finding the root of your emotional habits will equip you to make different choices. Conscious choice is incredibly empowering.

4. Figure out the "payoff". Leverage is needed to change a habit. There has to be a bigger reason to change than to stay the same. Looking deeper is often the key. Honestly list all the reasons why you may be unconsciously resisting change. Then list the benefits of changing. Seeing both sides of the picture is the only way to "get it". If you are dealing with another person ask them why they think they don't change. This will help them process why they may be stuck.

5. Do the "21-day habit change". By changing an emotional habit for 21 days you will be well on your way to permanent change. Just 21 days. Track it, journal it or create a spreadsheet. If you can get through that the rest will be a breeze.

Hang in there!

The launch in Pix

Left to right- Emmanuel Bright of Emmagination Consulting; Niyi Adesanya of Fifth Gear Consulting; Professor Yemi Osinbajo, Former Attorney general and commissioner for Justice Lagos state; the author, Favour Erebosi and SACO, the MC and comedian.

I almost forgot

Hi Friends,

Whatever happened to my manners, how can i forget to invite you to the public presentation of my first inspirational book titled: THE MAN WITH A DIFFERENT SPIRIT- defying the status quo.

Please forgive me. You are specially invited to the formal launch of my book. Venue: Adebola House, Opebi. Ikeja. Lagos
Time: 12noon prompt.
Date: 30th April, 2011

I will expecting you!

Achieve the extra ordinary, It's in you!

1000 Points of Light.

I had the privilege of being part of a revolutionary program put together by the Daniels Generation, a revolutionary youth arm of RCCG Olive tree assembly. Banana Island, Ikoyi.

The program was tagged Conversation to change the Nation- 1000 points of light. The objective was to light up 1000 participants that will contagiously light up others to positively advance the nation. It was an avenue for youths to ask the leaders some questions that have been bothering them over time concerning the state of the nation.

We had several seasoned speakers like His Excellency, Governor Babbtunde Raji Fashola, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo, Leke Alder, Soji Apampa, Bode Agusto, Yemi Adelekan, Olayemi, Cardaso and a host of others.

In order to give you an insight into what we learnt, I have decided to give you some bullet points of what the first speaker spoke on. They resonate with me; I want to believe it should do same with you.

The governor was the first to speak, he started by saying that there is nothing wrong with Nigeria, that if we resolve that this is what we want as a nation and collectively adhere to set standards, we will thrive.

• This country is not a lost cause
• We live in a country where we make more babies without corresponding Hospitals to take care of these babies
• Buy more cars without building new roads- The last major road constructed in Lagos was the third main land bridge.
• The more people who try to access limited resources, the more frustrated they become… We live in country where more people are struggling to have access to limited resources…
• Infrastructural renewal is one of our core goals in developmental plans
• A greener and cleaner environment is a healthy environment
• The measure of progress in any state is whether or not your government is responsive.
• We must imbibe the right attitude that nothing is impossible
• An attitude that only us can limit us
• This is the attitude needed for change
• We must re-examine our values, without the right values, everything built will collapse.
• Nothing can stand in our way with proper values, right attitude and belief, nothing is impossible.
• IT IS POSSIBLE.

That was the closing charge. IT IS POSSIBLE.

Be and lead d change!

Make up Your Mind

We are already five days into the second month of the year, and I won’t be surprised that some people are yet to kick start what they have planned to do this year. I want to believe that you are familiar with the popular quote that “All objects remain in a state of rest until a force is applied” Did I get the quote well? Anyways, I am sure you understand where I am driving at. It is very important to note that nothing happens without a push. I love the woman with the issue of blood in the scriptures, I am not being pastoral here because I am not one, but I want use a popular illustration. She did one thing and that was “She made up her mind” that she was going to touch Jesus on the set day she got her healing.

Remember she had the crowd to contend with, I guess most people who also wanted to get Jesus’s attention would have cajoled and made fun of her to move away for “better and healthy people” to see the master. Their discouraging acts did not deter her, because her mind was made up. She was ready to surmount all obstacles just to touch the master.

You might as well call the write up ‘The power of determination’ the simple message here is that nothing is going happen until you make it happen, let me also say here that it is not enough to make up your mind, action must accompany your determination.

May be you have so many projects lined up for the year, but you haven’t started working on any for fear of completion and obstacles, kindly borrow from the woman with issue of blood, she didn’t care about the obstacles, she wanted something, she went for it, surmounting all obstacles and got what she wanted. It’s possible you are yet to make up your mind to begin. My advice, if you have them all well outlined, please run with it, because that vision is for an appointed time. But you must RUN with it. Meaning you can’t fold your hands and wait for things to happen, please make them happen. You’ve got all it takes.

If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Leave the workability with God, just make up your mind today and ACT.

Achieve the extra- ordinary… It’s in you!

Take Charge!

Corruption is not our Problem

Happy New Year, good and great people of this great nation, hope goals have been set and plans to achieve them properly put in place. Not to worry, everything will be ok, if you play your part well, God will definitely surprise you pleasantly.

The crux of the matter today is that corruption is not our problem… “Favour, what are you talking about’? Someone must be saying, never mind just read through. We are quick to blame the underdevelopment of the nation on bad leadership and corruption. I am not refuting the fact that these things are part of the problem, but lamenting on them without necessary action is actually the major problem we have in this nation. Nigeria suffers more from our continued inaction than from the problems.

We suffer more of inaction in this nation than anything else. If you say leadership is the problem, what are we doing to solve the problem or is it just about talking and writing about them on the pages of newspaper? I don’t think so. If you say corruption has eaten deep into the fabrics of this nation, what have we done to curb it? Why do we spend so much time on talking than acting? We are of no doubt known to make noise about bad situations than proffering solutions to them.

The election is around the corner, if you want to stop bad leadership and corruption, it’s time you stood up and allow your vote count. We encourage bad leadership when we fold our hands at election times when we are supposed to determine who takes the mantle of leadership. Prayer is key to success no doubt, but even the good book said “ Faith without work is dead” For our religious brothers who have been praying and are still praying for the forth coming election, I would advise that while we pray, we should also be part of a defining moment that confronts us. We are not saying that you should stop praying; we are only pleading that you should come out and cast your vote.

Pessimists would not show up at the polls, no doubt, those who think that the status quo remains, who think strongly that the election would be rigged may not bother showing up. But let me remind us that such mindset would not take us anywhere. When we keep thinking that things will never get better we prolong the realization of our dreams as a nation. When we think Nigeria should sort herself out of her woes, we are not been patriotic. When we think ethnicity should determine who leads, we need to reconsider unity.

Until we see the growth and development of this nation as a collective responsibility, it might not be easy for us to attain the height we have always wanted.

Corruption is just a noun, and it functions where you allow it to, besides. It’s found in almost all the nations of the world in different degrees. But we can decide to erase it from our system, if only you will do the right thing at the right time not minding who is doing the wrong thing. If we say the system is totally corrupt, do something to salvage the system, your vote is your voice and your power that no one can take away from you. Use it wisely this time around, and help fight the so called corruption and bad leadership.

Apart from voting the right people into position of leadership, let’s remind ourselves that we are saddled with the responsibility of making their job easier by being good citizens that will discharge their civic responsibilities with a sense of patriotism. Don’t sit and wait for things to happen, make them happen.

Remember Andrew lack’s word, “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Change begins with you!